Inner Sanctuary

I am sitting tight here as Christmas Day gets closer.

The tension is rising as everyone rushes to get their Christmas shopping done.

Even at my quilt store sanctuary, there is tension and the sadness of some people not being with a family group.

I have withdrawn into an inner sanctuary symbolized by the space in my daughter’s home where I am sewing, knitting and cooking.

Earlier, I decided not to resist the still impenetrable emotional firewalls, and instead bless them for being in place.

I am not yet prepared to deal with what is on the other side.

I came  the conclusion that it is OK to wait until I gain the skills to deal with the past violence and to leave it alone even in memory as much as I can at this time of year.

And I am grateful to say I am doing really well, for me.

I am still upright and functioning, not buried in bed with the covers over my head and a six-week migraine.

I have made it easier and easier for me to function at this time of year.

No pressure for presents.

I will make some things after the celebration.

I will complete the things I already made later as well.

I am no longer tied to the date to express my appreciation for the wonderful people in my life.  

I send things to them at different times of the year.

I do not have to measure anyone else’s expression toward me by a date either.

We are all dealing with our own life situations, positive and negative.

So, my holiday blessing is less and less pressure on myself and others.

© 2016 Kathryn Hardage

www.lovedcherishedadored.blogspot.com