When Amazing Things Come Together

Although I have a habitual practice of expecting good, I am amazed when things come together in such a way as to generate deep healing.

Even pain which has become such a familiar part of one’s life for decades can be suddenly addressed and healed.

I participated in such an event last night.

We were invited to a family gathering.

In the past, family gatherings had triggered so much current and past pain, they had become unbearable for me.

So I did the most compassionate self-care practice that I could.  

I withdrew for what became several peaceful years.

I was able to experience the first calm in my life during traditional holiday celebrations by simply maintaining my own quiet place.

I know there are many of you to whom this makes complete sense.

I was completely satisfied to continue this practice because of what it meant to me to be able to be peaceful.

It was the first time I found a way to remain in control of my life instead of experiencing violently disruptive feelings and panic attacks.

Through simple memory and later, therapy, I was able to discover why my disruption and panic were perfectly reasonable responses to holiday and family gatherings.

They were rooted in long-term childhood trauma, when I had no control over my environment or what went on in it.

Surprisingly, this time when we were invited to a birthday celebration, we accepted.

I prepared myself with what I need to handle panic attacks, my knitting and drawing supplies.

I know what to expect when I am around certain kinds of lighting, loud conversation and a confined space (which generates a feeling of not being able to escape).

I also know how I can deal with it, at least for a certain amount of time.

When I got to the gathering, I was surprised to be able to sit quietly and uneventfully for a period of time.

When I felt the panic begin to kick in, I took out my knitting.

People around me are used to me using various means to distract and calm myself.

I was able to stay calm and enjoy the dinner and participate in the conversation.

Whenever I felt my feelings escalating, I got my knitting out.  (I got quite a bit of knitting done.)

However, I also was able to remain for the entire time, even after some participants left.

I did hit my point of overwhelm, and was able to signal that I needed to leave immediately.

I was even able to be detained for photos, and continue my outward steps without any more symptoms.

I was impressed and amazed at being able to stay, and how comfortable I was visiting with my two daughters who were there, surrounded by the birthday girl’s in-laws and family.

The next day, I realized, by the lessening of other triggered physical symptoms, that I was experiencing deep healing.

To those of you who have been caught up in similar backgrounds, I offer encouragement.

There is a way to address your deep needs.

You are finding your way.

I am grateful if anything I have can help contribute to your deep healing as well.

© 2019 Kathryn Hardage

www.lovedcherishedadored.blogspot.com

The Other Point of View

Although I may be aware of it, some else’s point of view does not touch me.

A person’s point of view affects their attitudes, opinions and courses of action.

Even if you are affected by some else’s behavior, it does not change who you are.

Your circumstances may be dictated by some else’s negative or cruel point of view, but your response is always your own.

As long as you see yourself separate from it, there is nothing it can do to change your character.

Your identity is formed by your own point of view.

You point of view informs you and dictates how you see the world.

You are able to contribute in an uplifting way to society and civilization.

No matter what is around you, your core identity will inform and strengthen you.

As you grow and gain in strength, your purpose will naturally push back against whatever circumstances surrounded you in the past.

You will continue to direct your own circumstances and surround yourself with congenial company.

Your increase will show you the power of self-image and will help you uplift others.

Your persistence in remaining true to your purpose and point of view will be felt by those around you.

You will be seen naturally as a person whose point of view matters.

© 2019 Kathryn Hardage

www.lovedcherishedadored.blogspot.com 

Filling in the Gaps

If your project or dream is not coming together yet, observe the gaps that you have to leap over, and start taking the tiny steps to fill them in.

You may not be aware of a gap until you are blocked from moving forward.

After checking everything you know to do, the next thing may be to look for a tiny gap which is essential to the process.

This may be the opportunity to develop more patience.

It may be the opportunity to look at certain patterns of behavior and when you get blocked.

It may be because of past habits.

Whatever comes up in your observation allows you to listen and address it to move forward.

By being compassionate with yourself, you can always relieve the pressure you feel when you hit a gap.

You can take the time to observe the steps which have gotten you this far, and then you can shift your stance a little in order to focus on the solution.

As you listen within and feel self-compassion, you will be able to sense the new approach which will take you from behind the wall you are facing.

You will be able to include what nurtures you from your new view and to proceed.

This will happen many times throughout your creative process.

As you refine your approach and take in the new view the gaps will fill in and the project will fill out.

You will begin living from within your dream.

Your new view through self-compassion will enable you to change your approach.

It will allow you to observe and take action on whatever is needed.

It will allow you to develop new habits and skills.

It will allow you to complete your project and to live your dream.

© 2019 Kathryn Hardage

www.inspiredpractices.blogspot.com 

Bigger Peaceful Goals

The concept of a “social business” brings a larger benefit to many people through its design to be not only self-sustaining, but to invest all the return back into the business. 

(“A World of Three Zeros, the New Economics of Zero Poverty, Zero Unemployment, and Zero Net Carbon Emissions, by Dr. Muhammad Yunus, winner of the Nobel Peace Price for Economics.)

By being responsible to the people who work in the business and to their beneficiaries, i.e. the people they serve, they are able to progress more freely.

They are able to put everything they earn to expand and improve their outreach.

With attention directed purely to their business goals, the best interests of the business to serve its clientele are foremost.

There is no outside investment force which has to be placated.

There is no remote financial interest which influences how the business is run.

Workers are governed by the motive of carrying out their highest actions to serve their purpose in the best way.

Everything works from within the business.

A “social business” may still be run in all other aspects as a for-profit business, but the profits are turned inward to increase the effectiveness of the business.

It is not a co-operative where each employee has one vote, but decisions which are made affect the welfare of the business, not the investors.

When adjustments are needed in order to serve the clientele better, they come from within the company.

Because the goals are to serve the community better, it has a more peaceful relationship within the culture of the company.

There is no pressure for a higher return on investment in and of itself.

There is a goal of increased earnings in order to provide increased service.

The peaceful relationship within and without is an important and worthy contribution.

It creates a different atmosphere which is more uplifting and beneficial to everyone.

© 2019 Kathryn Hardage

www.pebblesofpeace.blogspot.com 

The Benefit of the Best

In order to lift up your concept of yourself, you have the opportunity to give yourself the benefit of the best.

The best thought about yourself.

The best item from a selection.

A class you have always desire to take.

An organic tomato.

You must accustom yourself to living in small ways which express the best thing you can do for yourself in that moment.

Add tiny steps and tiny items which express the best that you can possibly be or have.

You will feel your mind-set shift as you make these tiny steps habitual.

You will create more room for an improved concept of yourself.

You are engaged in self-concept building.

Give yourself the strength of self-appreciation.

Present yourself the gift of a small opportunity and then accept it.

Take the action.

Do the activity.

Give yourself the benefit of the best.

© 2019 Kathryn Hardage

www.lovedcherishedadored.blogpost.com 

Your Favorite

What is your favorite quality about yourself?

Creativity, imagination, humor, intelligence, joy?

How can you cultivate it today?

I listen for my favorite ideas and qualities and explore how I can express them during the day.

This is how I create my day for myself.

This practice counteracts the many small dismissals which can build up throughout a day.

It has created a new habit of valuing myself.

I find that actively listing and reviewing my fine qualities is a strong antidote to past lack of appreciation.

It fills in the gaps where recognition of my place and value is required.

It gives me confidence and appreciation of my demonstrated ability.

I welcome the opportunity to take a good look at myself.

I see the excellent work and character I have cultivated.

I feel the value of discovering what I love to do and pursuing it to a level of proficiency.

I enjoy the higher ground I now stand on.

I feel privileged to be able to share my inspiration with so many others.

I am glad I am participating in a positive direction for my life and uplifting others.

I enjoy my higher quality of life now that I value myself so consistently.

I am grateful for my persistence in requiring more of myself.

I have set a goal and reached it, and now I know that I can continue setting goals which I will reach.

That is my new favorite thing about myself.

© 2019 Kathryn Hardage

www.lovedcherishedadored.blogspot.com 

Expand Your Outreach with Confidence

I value my idea and expand my outreach.

Everyone I know values their idea and expands their outreach.

Everyone I don’t even know, all over the planet, values their idea and expands their outreach.

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If you can not get started, even though you have great ideas, perhaps you need to expand your outreach.

Can you start small?

Can you start big?

Fill in the gaps with the tiny steps you need to get started, and watch how your path becomes smoother, more efficient and possibly, bigger.

Starting small is possible, even with a bigger goal in mind.

Tiny steps make it easy or just plain possible to start.

Trusting your intuition to guide you brings confidence to take that tiny step.

Tuning out all distractions and opinions (including your own), is vital.

You need to hear the precise timing and move quickly.

Once you are started, you will be able to to repeat the process and bear witness to your progress.

Continue listening and taking action and let your project grow until it truly fulfills its purpose.

You will love the feeling of being the messenger.

The message behind the project will continue to grow as it embraces all who can benefit from it.

As you value yourself and your idea, you build up a power that is so strong, it propels you to take that first tiny step.

Then you have the joy and privilege of seeing how powerful your idea really is.

Listen inwardly and move outward with confidence.

© 2019 Kathryn Hardage

www.takethreedeepbreadths.blogspot.com